Bad Morning/Day…?

Its like at the end of the day, writing this makes me feel better. I’m not exactly sure why.

Today hasnt been going the way I would have liked it to be. Right now im in the locker room writing this to whoever cares to read this. I just got done with the fisio, which is what they call the trainer, and I have an hour before practice starts.

Today just didnt start right. I dont know if I miss my ex like that but it took me all this time and pain to get over him and he sends me pictures and sends me a message saying that he misses me. I never answered back because I dont know what to say. I really dont. Honestly reading that fucked my head up… And apparently my day. But first of all, I woke up sleepy as hell cause I took a sleeping aid at midnight so I woke up sleepy and overall I didnt have a good night sleep but back to the text I received. Like what the heck? When I seen it my heart dropped. Like who do you think you are? Why do you think its okay to do that? I guess its a compliment but when im across the fuckin world, dont do that. I take that back, don’t do that ever! Ok. Ok. I never did tell him how much him not seeing me hurt… well I did but I think I made it look like it didnt bother me that much, I DONT EXACTLY REMEMBER. But that shit hurt, end of story. And now your traveling all over the US and you keep tellin me everything is “good”. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? You know what? I’m “good” without you. I’ve cried enough about you. Thats why I didnt text you that one day. Yea I still have feelings, clearly, but this got to stop!

Anyways, girls are coming into the locker room and I’m so not dressed or ready for practice. But honestly i dont know why they’re here this early. Practice doesnt start for another hour. They never here this early. So I’ma keep writin…

So the reason why I’ve been seeing the fisio is for my back. Which, by the way, I ALWAYS try to never see because – 1st, they never really seem to know exactly what they’re doing. At least not like in college. I mean, this girl looks like she at least went to school for it but the other teams weren’t so good. And – 2nd, I hate coming in earlier than I already do for practice, or adding more gym time than I already put in. Plus, today isn’t a good day… I just want to curl up in my bed and cry or sleep.

I love this team and coach, place, and people but coach wants us to go hard in practice but he keeps stopping us and today it was real bad. One day, we warmed up and he just talked to us for an hour in the morning. Yoooooo, I was heated. I think sometimes he over analyzes the game and if he does – THATS COOL … but dont give us each and every detail. Players play. We think about different possibilities and how the other teams play and player bio and such but lecturing us about it all for an hour??? Dont you think thats a bit much? How do you expect anyone to learn what you talkin about by just tellin us. We have to be warm and be tired and learn through experience.

Anyways, I’m over and out. I’ll post this to whoever cares tonight. Cya! 👋🏽

September 3, 2015 11.5 EST

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